Now the stories choose to wind their way through me. In the month of my birth. An appropriate time. I start with what would conventionally be called a mild “heart attack.” Tuesday in the night –closer to dawn on Wednesday. I dreamed I had two heads –flopping back and forth in a bed in a well lit room with my mate next to me. Hardened cheese blocking my mouth and air way. The cheese and the light were in my visual field as I watched what I was experiencing. Wonderfully multi-dimensional!
I woke up in my bed of new pale Caribbean blue sheets the color of the shallows of the islands, pain from my heart to my throat in a very thick straight line and not breathing. Alone. Sometimes life imitates dreams! My reaction intrigued me….”Now isn’t this interesting?” I would have made my Zen teacher proud if he had been eavesdropping! “I wonder what my body will be like in the morning?” I massaged my throat to open it more and rolled over and went back to sleep. No panic. No 911. No real upset. Peace, calm, acceptance.
Death is an event horizon. That has been running like a mantra through my mind all day. What the heck does that mean?? Ah –thanks Wikipedia. An event horizon - a boundary in spacetime. The point of no return. Yes, death is an event horizon. No return for this sacred vessel –new freedom for the inhabitant. New lessons, new adventures and the same commitment to be of service.
The last near death in 2009 I was told my job if I crossed that threshold was to be a spirit guide for humans. My job if I remained in body was to be a spirit guide for humans. Pick One! I chose to stay in body because of the music that comes through me. Music is such an interesting experience in this form on this planet. My path of service remains the same. The form I am in changes if I ride the wild black hole of death. We humans are so incredibly programmed to fear death. There is amazing freedom in holding death in a place of curiosity. Isn’t it interesting?
As I was saying before I distracted myself with event horizons, this story begins with a “heart attack.” I have been meditating on that commonly used term and choose to find one more vibrationally correct –for me. My heart did not attack me. It certainly did not attack anything else. What a guilt trip to lay on a sacred heart. I sense it breaking out of its mask, shield, wall –its confinement. That release came with pain and still does. The family mythology of heart disease runs through my mind –ancestral ego stories that create reality in our lineage. The heart release from its prison means freedom either in body or out. The release is lubricated with sacred water –tears. Not at the possibility of dying –more at the expansiveness of love.
This was some sort of in body event horizon. There is no going back to ‘normal’ (that setting on a dryer) after such an experience. The heart –my heart is growing wings and discovering flight….one way or another. I believe…no I remember….. that love transcends form. My experience with heart freedom this week calls forth my words.
